They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
In other news, I just burned my penis
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
