So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
