he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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