Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
