just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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