dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
