Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
