Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
