drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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