What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
