god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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