the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
