cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
it's like heaven, but drunker
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
