Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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