I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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