Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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