I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
