He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
