sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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