You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
