Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
