Last Night in Illinois (773)

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?

  (219): View more from Indiana

  One?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  ONE! And it was was glorious!

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  So apparently I’m into choking now

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.

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