I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
