ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
