i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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