The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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