A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
