therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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