Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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