Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
