A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
