that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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