Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
