All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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