Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You are the jesus of drinking
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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