Last Night in Texas (512)

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled

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• (512): View more from Texas

  There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.

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  you missed out this chick was licking her paddle

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• (512): View more from Texas

  the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe

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• (512): View more from Texas

  dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore

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• (512): View more from Texas

  i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!

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  I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river

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• (512): View more from Texas

  we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree

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  Which half?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.

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