Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
