Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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