New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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