how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
