And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
