the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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