i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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