If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
