I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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