Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Randomize
