The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
