I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
