Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
