What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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