Only a mothe r could love this liver
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
