idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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