So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize