Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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