So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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