And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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