I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
