Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
