I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
wow bdsm is so cute
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
