fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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