guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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