absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
my poor anus
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
