Are we in a gay sports bar?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
