and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Heβs over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo heβs listed as free food #5
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Two words: nipple clamps
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